More NBA Posts...Annoying, Isn't It?

Look, I know reading about the NBA over and over again is getting old because, well, writing about it over and over again isn't any more exciting.  But with the NBA Finals match-up finally set in stone, what am I supposed to do, not write about it!?  I know there is an NHL Game 7 tonight in Boston and I'm sure all you hockey fans are excited about it, but lets be honest, who really cares?  If people were actually going to watch the game, NBC would be broadcasting it live instead of the final season of "Friday Night Lights" (which I didn't even know was still on the air).  Therefore the Bruins and Lightning will play for a spot in the Stanley Cup Finals on Versus.  But back to the matter at hand, the Miami "Heatles" will play the Dallas Mavericks for the NBA title after both teams won their respective conference finals in 5 games.  It will be a rematch of the 2006 Finals when Dwyane Wade won his first and only championship (with Shaq) and Dirk Nowitzki saw his team blow a two games to none lead by losing four straight.

The truth is that the Heat are unbelievable right now.  They're winning games and dominating series' even when one or two of the "Big 3" struggle.  At times it's been Christina Bosh who has played poorly and more recently it's been Dwyane Wade.  But either way, the strength of the team is their defense.  Who would have thought that possible when the three "stars" who were known primarily for their offensive production got together before the season?  And as much as it hurts to say, Bosh has played better as of late with multiple big games providing a much-needed spark.  But I still can't stand that softie and believe he's one of the most overrated players in the league.  I hope he's awful in the Finals.  And Lebron James is corny.  I don't know why it took me so long to realize that.  It should have been a dead giveaway when he wore an all-white suit including his tie and shoes to the 2003 NBA Draft.  That stopped seeming like a cool thing to do after 7th grade.  As much as I hope they lose, it'd be incredibly ignorant to do anything but acknowledge their great playoff performance thus far, and I imagine they will be the favorite when Game 1 arrives.

But Dirk is proving that he's amongst the best in the game right now and is playing at a ridiculous level, 38-year old Jason Kidd is as good as ever and Tyson Chandler in the middle provides the Mavs a toughness and defensive presence that they have lacked for a long time.  Jason Terry might be the best shooter in the league when he's open, JJ Barea has broken down every defense he's seen in the playoffs and DeShawn Stevenson just plain sucks.  Why the hell does he start for them?  Oh yeah, and somehow Brian Cardinal is still in the league and rides serious pine *pause* for them.  And despite those last two setbacks, Dallas still managed to beat up on the OKC Thunder, a team that many believed ready to contend for a title.  

In my opinion, this series will come down to which team has a better answer for the other team's best player:  Who from Miami is going to defend Dirk?  My answer:  Nobody.  Noone else has been able to do it so far and I certainly don't see Christina Bosh or Joel I Get My Entire Existence Dunked on By Derrick Rose Anthony being able to contain him.  So this series more than ever, Miami's team defense will be imperative.  For Dallas, who will guard Lebron?  My answer:  Shawn Marion.  That doesn't mean I think Marion will shut him down, because just like Dirk, nobody can completely stop Lebron.  But I do think Marion can give Lebron a little bit of trouble.  Marion is long *pause,* athletic and also playing at a very high level right now.  If he can force Lebron to give the ball up at the end of games, I like the Mavericks' chances.  By the way, I know I've made my opinion on Lebron clear, but he has really silenced critics in these playoffs by hitting countless big shots in late-game situations.  Anyway, I think that's all I have to say, although there are endless topics to be discussed in this series.  That means it's time for my pick:  I'm clearly rooting for Dallas, and it pains me deeply to do this, but I'm taking the Heat in 7 games kids.  Also, in upcoming days, I will be posting several of my columns from my days writing for "The Maine Campus" in case anyone missed those and would like to catch up.

"Move that gigantic cotton candy."  -Super Troopers

-Brusk Dollas

That's So "Gay"

In recent days, Phoenix Suns President Rick Welts and former Villanova basketball player Will Sheridan have each publicly admitted that they are gay.  Welts, 58, has been involved in professional sports for 40 years and has taken an impressive road to the top (started as an NBA ball boy), while Sheridan was a three-year starter for the Wildcats, a perennial top 25 team, from 2005-'07.  As a result of their success at such high levels, the announcements have become national news.  Sheridan has even made appearances on ESPN's "Outside The Lines" and "The Jim Rome Show" on Fox Sports Radio to talk about his experience as a gay, Division 1 student-athlete and his life since coming out.

But here's what's crazy to me:  we're so surprised when we hear that a high-profile athlete, specifically a male athlete, is gay.  Don't get me wrong, my initial reaction is exactly the same, but honestly, why!?  I've heard statistics that as many as 1 in 8 people are gay (doesn't mean it's accurate, but you get the point), so do we really think that the athletic world is devoid of homosexuality?  No chance.  The sad thing is that there is still such a high percentage of people that are not accepting of an individual's sexual orientation.  This is the year 2011, not 1951.  Grow up.

After Sheridan's interview on "The Jim Rome Show," Rome took feedback from his listeners via email, tweet, text and phone calls.  Upon hearing what they had to say I was embarrassed to associate myself with the majority of them.  With the exception of a few gay listeners, just about everyone complained that Rome was willing to do that interview, some commenting that it was more information than they wanted to hear.  Umm...what part of that interview was more information than you wanted to hear?  The fact that he's gay?  If that's hard for you to hear then do me a favor and go play in traffic.

Still though, that's the way the world works and it's hard enough for a non-athlete to admit that they're gay because they know that a lot of people will look at them differently.  So I can only imagine how tough it must be for a male athlete to admit it when they're faced with expectations of being completely masculine.  That being said, there are undoubtedly gay athletes that are simply too scared to come out.  One of the genius callers that Rome took today speculated that one of the reasons athletes are afraid to admit their homosexuality is this:  If they ever make a mistake, the media might blame it on the fact that they're gay.  Right.  Just like the media blames errors on skin color and gender (if you don't know me personally, that's what we in the business like to call heavy sarcasm).  I'm pretty sure this guy's IQ was about the same as the number of teeth he's missing.

The last issue that I want to address is something that I'm also guilty of:  The overuse of gay slurs to refer to something that would be more appropriately described as "stupid."  The words "gay," "fag," "homo" and many others get thrown around locker rooms in friendly banter like they mean nothing.  It's not uncommon to hear someone say "that's so gay" when they're not pleased about something or to call a teammate, or anyone else for that matter, a "fag" as an insult.  This doesn't necessarily mean that the person using these terms is homophobic, but it's something that we all need to be more conscious of.  Most of us don't think twice about using these slurs but Sheridan admitted that it was hurtful to hear them when he played, even if he knew his teammates meant no harm by them.  It might not seem like a big deal, but is it really that hard to eliminate a few potentially offensive words from our vocabulary?

"I still believe in man...a wise one asked me why.  Cause I just don't believe we're wicked, I know that we sin but I do believe we try."   -Frank Ocean

-Brusk Dollas

Before I address the main focus of this post, I thought I would give you a little explanation behind it. I am a Kobe Bryant fan and the team he plays with (they don’t deserve to be called the name on their jersey’s) showed they are classless losers. I don’t think their actions were as bad as people have made it out to be but the game has changed, media coverage has changed and the definition of sportsmanship has changed. In the 80’s violence on the floor was not frowned upon, it was celebrated. The Detroit Pistons were nicknamed The Bad Boys for a reason. If you went through the lane without your head on a swivel you would catch a close-line followed by a body check on the way down, just ask Larry Bird. These Bad Boys were icons because they inflicted pain upon their opponents and, if you didn’t like their strategy, they would just fight you and everyone with you to let you know they were about business.

This post is a tribute to the 1989 Detroit Pistons. This post is the NBA's All-Goon squad. According to the amazing and always credible urbandictionary.com, a goon is described as someone hired to rough someone up, usually someone big and dumb who commits acts of violence. A goon doesn’t just end there, a goon commits acts that are deliberately disruptive and disrespectful toward their victims. After Sunday’s thrashing I wondered who would be considered the biggest goons in the NBA.  Here goes nothing. 

Point Guard – Delonte West – unless you have been living under a rock over the past year you have heard the rumors involving Delonte West and Gloria James (LeBron’s mom) during the 2010 Eastern Conference playoffs. LeBron James tanked the second round of the playoffs, Delonte was instantly shipped out of town and LeBron left the Cleveland Cavaliers at the altar. You can imagine what really went down. In addition to his disrespect for teammate’s mothers, Delonte was pulled over on his motorcycle for a traffic violation in 2009 where he was carrying a 9mm Beretta pistol, a .357 Magnum and a Remington 870 in a guitar case. Delonte West is a real life goon.

Center – Chris “Birdman” Anderson – the general public knows Birdman for his Rock star appearance and his intensity he brings to the game of basketball. What most people don't know about Birdman was his Rock star lifestyle. In 2006, Birdman was banned from the NBA for drug abuse. Under the NBA’s collective bargaining agreement testing positive for banned drugs is a disqualifying offense. In the NBA marijuana is not on the banned drugs list but methamphetamine, cocaine; LSD; opiates, heroin, codeine, morphine and PCP are. Birdman might be a nickname for something other than flapping his arms up and down the court after an amazing play.

Power Forward – Kevin Garnett – On the floor KG can only be described as psycho. If you have seen KG play you know about the countless swearing, chest pounds and the look of a demon on a nightly basis. Those antics did not get KG on this list. Calling Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient and trying to break Pau Gasol’s arm in last year’s NBA Finals is what got Mr. Garnett on this list. Charlie Villanueva is living with a skin disease known as alopecia universalis which doesn’t allow him to grow hair. KG is just straight up ruthless. 

Shooting Guard – Earl JR Smith – JR made the list not because of his “thuggery” on the floor but solely because of his appearance and actions on the floor. JR Smith is the ring leader of the most tattooed team in sports history. You cannot be a member of the Denver Nuggets without tattoos on your neck, hands, arms, chest, back and face. A sleeve of tattoos won’t even get you a tryout with the Denver Nuggets. JR is also a guy like I have never seen before. He's not a starter simply out of fear that he'll attempt 50+ shots. JR is the kind of guy that has never seen a shot he hasn’t liked. JR is the type of player that can give you 20 in a quarter, 40 in a game or straight up shoot you into a blowout, all from the bench. You can’t not love the guy.

Small Forward – Ron Artest – Ron Ron is the definition of a NBA goon. In the December 2009 edition of Sporting News, Artest admitted to drinking Hennessy in the locker room during halftime of games. On November 19, 2004, Artest was the focus of the most unbelievable day in sports, a player vs. fan brawl. The brawl begins when Ben Wallace is fouled from behind by Artest resulting in a multiple-player confrontation. During the argument, Artest lies down on the scorer's table while putting on a headset to speak with radio broadcaster Mark Boyle. At this point, there's still 45.9 seconds left on the clock. While Artest is acting like a buffoon, a spectator throws a drink at Artest while he's lying on the scorer’s table. Artest runs in the stands and all hell breaks loose. Maybe Hennessy wasn’t the best idea.  It doesn’t end there as Ron Ron once pulled Paul Pierce’s pants down in the middle of a game, applied to circuit city for an employee discount and asked Rick Carlisle for a month off to record an R&B album. The kicker is Ron Ron won the 2011 NBA Citizenship award and the very same night hit JJ Barea with the infamous Rock Bottom. Some things are just laughable.

Coach – John Chaney – I felt I had to think outside the box on this one because this coach is a special kind of guy *pause*. Unlike Bobby Knight, who threw temper tantrums, Coach Chaney brought his disgust too opponents' front door. He is what we young folks refer to as an OG, Original Goon.  On February 13, 1994 Chaney threatened to fight opposing coach John Calipari at a post-game news conference, nearly assaulting him before security pulled him away. Chaney entered the conference mid-speech yelling at Calipari that he would "kick his ass" before charging the stage like a Neanderthal. As security is physically removing Chaney from the stage, Chaney repeatedly yells "I'll kill you" and angrily admitted to telling his players to "knock your fucking kids in the mouth." And yes ladies and gentlemen he kept his job after a one game suspension. Chaney goes on to one up himself in 2005 ordering backup forward Nehemiah Ingram into the game to wreak havoc on Saint Joseph's players in response to what Chaney thought were several missed calls by the referees. In the post-game press conference Chaney stated that Ingram was sent on the floor to send a message and was quoted saying "I'm going to send in what we used to do years ago, send in the goons."  John Bryant of Saint Joseph's suffered a fractured arm as a result of an intentional foul. God Bless John Chaney. 

The Original Goon award goes to Bill Lambeer. I don’t have to say much about Bill because he was a man who played the game like none other. Bill was a glorified wrestler who took enjoyment in see other players suffer while he flopped around on the floor begging referees for favorable calls. How ironic. Actually, I will finish this tribute with a little video on what it was like in the NBA in the 1980’s. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMiVs2SInCY

-Jae Pierce 

YouTube - Videos from this email

Potpourri

Readers of "Roast Beef Tech:"  Do not get your hopes up.  This blog will take me no more than 45 minutes to write, it's on short notice, I still don't even know what it's going to be about, and I have a feeling it might be more of a stream of consciousness technique than actual, good writing.  Oh yeah, and I have a softball game in about 2 hours which means I've begun my required pre-game beer consumption.  On that note, I had an epiphany today.  So many times I've argued that golf and bowling are not "sports."  Call them "hobbies," "games," "activities," or just about anything else you'd like, but please don't call them "sports."  When I wrote the "golf is not a sport" column for "The Maine Campus" in college, I had at least a hundred people explain to me why golf is a sport.  "You play it on a designated field, you keep score, blah blah blah..."  I don't really care what your sports management 101 class told you is the definition of a sport.  Here's my definition AKA the right definition:  You must break a sweat, you must be better at age 25 than you are at age 65, alcohol consumption can NOT enhance your performance, and lastly, the epiphany I had today, an argument that I never thought of before, your "uniform" absolutely positively can NOT be dress shoes, slacks and a collared shirt.  Can you imagine Blake Griffin trying to posterize Timofey Mozgov Cocktail in some penny loafers, Dockers and a Ralph Lauren button-down!?

Speaking of Blake Griffin, lets move right along to topic number two:  Should Blake have been eligible to win NBA Rookie of the Year even though this was essentially his second year in the league?  For those of you who don't know, Griffin was selected first overall in the 2009 NBA Draft by the LA Clippers.  He then suffered an injury before the year started that kept him out of action for the entire 2009-2010 season thus making the 2010-2011 season the first that he actually played.  Recently he was named Rookie of the Year.  There are some people who believe that Griffin should not have been eligible to win the award because he had the unfair advantage of going through a full year of NBA workouts with NBA players and adjusting to the way the league functions.  To answer the question I posed in the first sentence of this paragraph in one word, yes.  And my explanation is simple.  Blake Griffin essentially got the NBA's equivalent of an NCAA medical redshirt.  Should collegiate athletes not be eligible to win ROY in their respective conferences if they're not true freshmen?  Maybe you believe that they shouldn't, but the reality is that every year there are redshirt freshman winning ROY in different sports and conferences around the country.  AND, the majority of collegiate athletes that redshirt do so because they simply are not physically or mentally ready to play at that level, not because of injury.  Therefore, Griffin may have had some unfair advantages, but lets not forget that he was rehabbing a stress fracture on his knee cap for close to 6 months.

Oh yeah, one more thing...Shout out to my man Gary Williams...Retired after 22 seasons as the head coach of my favorite college basketball team, the Maryland Terrapins...The now 61-year old led the Terps to the school's only men's basketball national championship in 2002, a joyous night for myself and fellow fans...

Before I wrap up this blog that a third-grader could have written better, I want to introduce something new that each of my posts from here on out will close with:  a quote of some sort that is on my mind.  Some will be song lyrics, some will be movie lines, and others will be quotes from famous people.  Most will be comical, very few will be serious, but all will be random.  That being said, I leave you with this:

"Call me Spongebob, stackin krabby patties..."

-Brusk Dollas