Before I address the main focus of this post, I thought I would give you a little explanation behind it. I am a Kobe Bryant fan and the team he plays with (they don’t deserve to be called the name on their jersey’s) showed they are classless losers. I don’t think their actions were as bad as people have made it out to be but the game has changed, media coverage has changed and the definition of sportsmanship has changed. In the 80’s violence on the floor was not frowned upon, it was celebrated. The Detroit Pistons were nicknamed The Bad Boys for a reason. If you went through the lane without your head on a swivel you would catch a close-line followed by a body check on the way down, just ask Larry Bird. These Bad Boys were icons because they inflicted pain upon their opponents and, if you didn’t like their strategy, they would just fight you and everyone with you to let you know they were about business.
This post is a tribute to the 1989 Detroit Pistons. This post is the NBA's All-Goon squad. According to the amazing and always credible urbandictionary.com, a goon is described as someone hired to rough someone up, usually someone big and dumb who commits acts of violence. A goon doesn’t just end there, a goon commits acts that are deliberately disruptive and disrespectful toward their victims. After Sunday’s thrashing I wondered who would be considered the biggest goons in the NBA. Here goes nothing.
Point Guard – Delonte West – unless you have been living under a rock over the past year you have heard the rumors involving Delonte West and Gloria James (LeBron’s mom) during the 2010 Eastern Conference playoffs. LeBron James tanked the second round of the playoffs, Delonte was instantly shipped out of town and LeBron left the Cleveland Cavaliers at the altar. You can imagine what really went down. In addition to his disrespect for teammate’s mothers, Delonte was pulled over on his motorcycle for a traffic violation in 2009 where he was carrying a 9mm Beretta pistol, a .357 Magnum and a Remington 870 in a guitar case. Delonte West is a real life goon.
Center – Chris “Birdman” Anderson – the general public knows Birdman for his Rock star appearance and his intensity he brings to the game of basketball. What most people don't know about Birdman was his Rock star lifestyle. In 2006, Birdman was banned from the NBA for drug abuse. Under the NBA’s collective bargaining agreement testing positive for banned drugs is a disqualifying offense. In the NBA marijuana is not on the banned drugs list but methamphetamine, cocaine; LSD; opiates, heroin, codeine, morphine and PCP are. Birdman might be a nickname for something other than flapping his arms up and down the court after an amazing play.
Power Forward – Kevin Garnett – On the floor KG can only be described as psycho. If you have seen KG play you know about the countless swearing, chest pounds and the look of a demon on a nightly basis. Those antics did not get KG on this list. Calling Charlie Villanueva a cancer patient and trying to break Pau Gasol’s arm in last year’s NBA Finals is what got Mr. Garnett on this list. Charlie Villanueva is living with a skin disease known as alopecia universalis which doesn’t allow him to grow hair. KG is just straight up ruthless.
Shooting Guard – Earl JR Smith – JR made the list not because of his “thuggery” on the floor but solely because of his appearance and actions on the floor. JR Smith is the ring leader of the most tattooed team in sports history. You cannot be a member of the Denver Nuggets without tattoos on your neck, hands, arms, chest, back and face. A sleeve of tattoos won’t even get you a tryout with the Denver Nuggets. JR is also a guy like I have never seen before. He's not a starter simply out of fear that he'll attempt 50+ shots. JR is the kind of guy that has never seen a shot he hasn’t liked. JR is the type of player that can give you 20 in a quarter, 40 in a game or straight up shoot you into a blowout, all from the bench. You can’t not love the guy.
Small Forward – Ron Artest – Ron Ron is the definition of a NBA goon. In the December 2009 edition of Sporting News, Artest admitted to drinking Hennessy in the locker room during halftime of games. On November 19, 2004, Artest was the focus of the most unbelievable day in sports, a player vs. fan brawl. The brawl begins when Ben Wallace is fouled from behind by Artest resulting in a multiple-player confrontation. During the argument, Artest lies down on the scorer's table while putting on a headset to speak with radio broadcaster Mark Boyle. At this point, there's still 45.9 seconds left on the clock. While Artest is acting like a buffoon, a spectator throws a drink at Artest while he's lying on the scorer’s table. Artest runs in the stands and all hell breaks loose. Maybe Hennessy wasn’t the best idea. It doesn’t end there as Ron Ron once pulled Paul Pierce’s pants down in the middle of a game, applied to circuit city for an employee discount and asked Rick Carlisle for a month off to record an R&B album. The kicker is Ron Ron won the 2011 NBA Citizenship award and the very same night hit JJ Barea with the infamous Rock Bottom. Some things are just laughable.
Coach – John Chaney – I felt I had to think outside the box on this one because this coach is a special kind of guy *pause*. Unlike Bobby Knight, who threw temper tantrums, Coach Chaney brought his disgust too opponents' front door. He is what we young folks refer to as an OG, Original Goon. On February 13, 1994 Chaney threatened to fight opposing coach John Calipari at a post-game news conference, nearly assaulting him before security pulled him away. Chaney entered the conference mid-speech yelling at Calipari that he would "kick his ass" before charging the stage like a Neanderthal. As security is physically removing Chaney from the stage, Chaney repeatedly yells "I'll kill you" and angrily admitted to telling his players to "knock your fucking kids in the mouth." And yes ladies and gentlemen he kept his job after a one game suspension. Chaney goes on to one up himself in 2005 ordering backup forward Nehemiah Ingram into the game to wreak havoc on Saint Joseph's players in response to what Chaney thought were several missed calls by the referees. In the post-game press conference Chaney stated that Ingram was sent on the floor to send a message and was quoted saying "I'm going to send in what we used to do years ago, send in the goons." John Bryant of Saint Joseph's suffered a fractured arm as a result of an intentional foul. God Bless John Chaney.
The Original Goon award goes to Bill Lambeer. I don’t have to say much about Bill because he was a man who played the game like none other. Bill was a glorified wrestler who took enjoyment in see other players suffer while he flopped around on the floor begging referees for favorable calls. How ironic. Actually, I will finish this tribute with a little video on what it was like in the NBA in the 1980’s. Enjoy!
-Jae Pierce
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