I’m back! After a strenuous month in the world of college athletics (my employer) I have found some time to vent about what is going on in our world of entertainment. I recently had an evening of relaxation on the couch and I took notice to what was being featured during prime time hours on our beloved television. It’s almost laughable what we believe to be good entertainment in the 21st century. Today’s post will not be long, but I will list the top 5 “are you kidding me?” television shows featured on television these days. I hope you enjoy this list of jenkum (google "jenkum" if you don't know what it is) that we call "reality tv."
5. Sweet Home Alabama
This show is a spin off of every Bachelor, Bachelorette or Flavor of Love gimmick type show that wants you believe you can find true, everlasting love picking from a batch of fifteen fame-driven idiots. But that is not why this show is on this list. This show is on this list because of one person. The person I'm referring to revealed himself as an NFL/Sugar Bowl Punter as a participant on this show which is a complete fraud. This guy was a teammate of myself and Brusk Dollas at a much less fashionable university than the one he claims. I’m not hating on him for working toward his dream to be famous, I'm just disappointed that he has betrayed the brotherhood. We here at Roast Beef Tech had the time of our lives on Spring Break with this very same character and for three years he was a dear friend. I don’t hate this person and if I saw him today everything would be cool, but he would hear my displeasure in him turning his back on the people who took him in with open arms.
4. Jersey Shore
If you think this is a good show and that the cast members represent true talent, please feel free to take an icepick and jam it directly into your retina. This show was created to display the ridiculousness that goes on at the Jersey Shore with the people that reside there. Naturally, people would say I'm hating because they are making so much money. Money has nothing to do with my opinion. Snooki is paid to be a drunken, vulgar idiot whose idea of funny is burping, farting and talking about poop. This "talent" will leave her unemployed and broke when MTV decides to pull the plug on this freak show. Ronnie and Sammi's relationship is every roid monkey’s relationship in a college setting. Give a meathead alcohol and mix in a girlfriend who has no clue about reality and you have their relationship. These Neanderthals don’t even realize Guido/Guidett is a derogatory word for a sad, pathetic excuse for a male or female of Italian decent. I could go on with my disgust for this show but I won’t. Apparently MTV knows more than I do about entertaining the masses.
3. Bad Girls Club
If you have never seen this show I am happy for you. If you think Snooki is ridiculous you should see the banshees they have on this show. The concept of the show is to cast a group of girls who claim they "keep it real.” These ladies are set up in a mansion, given an endless supply of alcohol and are sent to all the local night clubs. The kicker is they are encouraged to act like psychos. I watched this show for fifteen minutes and saw a girl jumping up and down on a civilian’s car with her dress coming down to about her belly button, screaming at the girl whose boyfriend turned her down. These classy ladies keep it real at all times and routinely clean toilet bowls with each other’s toothbrushes in retaliation to being spit on. Definitely sounds like the kind of lady I want to take home to meet the parents. What’s funny to me is they claim to "keep it real" but their lifestyle is the furthest thing from reality. You know what’s real? Taking care of your child, which most of these young ladies have. That’s real. This show is a treat for sure.
2. Basketball Wives
This show has everyone fooled because, well, none of these grown women are actually married. It's a show that was created and produced by Shawnee O’Neal (Shaq’s ex-wife), and it has completely disrespected any real woman. These ladies take pride in how insane they can possibly be while in some of the most sophisticated places. I’ve seen wine glasses tossed across restaurants and hair pulling fights at black tie events. If there is one thing these ladies have mastered, it's simply not knowing how to behave in public. All these ladies have been impregnated by an NBA superstar and wonder why they are currently divorced or single. The reason is right there on the television screen for the whole world to see. One individual on this show gets special mention: Tami Roman, ex-wife of Kenny Anderson. Tami is the definition of a hoodrat. Tami is all the way live or what the young folk would describe as “Turn’t Up.” I don't know what to say about her other than she will hurt you and I don’t mean with words. Tami is not a little girl and I would put my cash on her against most men. In other words, “this fat bitch gets physical.” (Mike Epps)
1. Sixteen and Pregnant/ Teen Mom
Now this is what bothers me about the society that we live in. People get offended about Tom Brady telling the Patriot fan base to start drinking early and get lubed up for a 4:15 p.m. kickoff, but we promote teen pregnancy. We find entertainment in watching teenagers who made terrible decisions and anoint them as celebrities. Instead of treating them like people who have to take care of their obligations, we put them in tabloids and show our youth, "here’s a way to make a buck and become a celebrity." I’ve seen Halloween costumes of one of the pregnant characters in the show. We can’t be serious.
Special Celebrity Mention: Curtis Leskanic, former relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox and current scout for the Boston Red Sox was found doing his best impression of Carlos Dunlap. Leskanic was arrested after being found asleep at the wheel of his car with a blood alcohol content of .35. A blood alcohol level that high puts most people in the hospital and is more than four times the legal limit. But that's not even the bad part. Not only was he passed out at the wheel, completely hammered beyond belief, but when the police got to his car they noticed his son was in the backseat. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
Stay Thirsty My Friend!
-Jae Pierce
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