Put Your Fours Up

I've been putting thoughts together on this post for a while and I'm excited to finally get to it.  Tonight will be another list of sport pet peeves, but with a slightly different approach.  I'm going to point out the most annoying, ridiculous things that you will see every time you watch a certain sport.  Because of my occupation I see every sport you can possibly imagine and have developed a list of things I can't stand to see, but can't avoid.  I have just one thing left to say before I dive right into it:  Why does Eli Manning have the most gigantic chinstrap in the history of football?

Softball - Whenever I cover a high school softball game and a girl gets on base, the catcher fakes a throw down to the base after every single pitch.  Every single one.  Every high school catcher does it and it's pretty much hilarious.  The best part is that she never actually throws it.  The whole purpose is to keep the baserunner honest, but she might as well be the girl who cried wolf.  Not only do you not ever actually throw it, but we all know your arm isn't strong enough to throw anyone out anyway.  Just save yourself and the rest of us who are watching the time and agony and throw the ball back to the pitcher already.

Tennis - This one is aimed more at professional tennis than anything else.  If I see one more tennis player win a tournament and sprawl on the ground like he just got hit by a sniper on the rooftop, I'm going to...well...OK, lets be realistic, I'm probably not gonna do anything because I know I'm going to see it the next time I watch a professional tennis final.  It's especially ridiculous when the best players in the world are doing it.  There are only three guys that ever win tournaments anyway and they've all won multiple majors.  Ever heard the phrase "act like you've been there before?"  That's even more appropriate when you have, in fact, been there before.  At least come up with a new way to celebrate 'cause that's just old and lame.

Volleyball - This one really drives me nuts.  Why is it that after every single point, both teams huddle up and have a pow wow in the middle of the court?  What could you possibly be saying?  In a given, best of five match there are probably 150 points scored, sometimes more, and you're telling me that you need to converse after every one of them?  And don't even get me started on the team that actually scored the point.  It's the same damn celebration every time.  Everyone on the team yells "Ayyyyyyyyyy!" and throws their arms in the air, even if the other team simply served the ball out of bounds.  And for the team that lost the point?  Lets just say volleyball players have to be the most supportive teammates ever.  I've never seen anyone yell at a teammate for missing an easy shot, only words of encouragement and a pat on the butt.  And it's the same whether we're talking about guys or girls.

Baseball - Does anyone ever shut up?  I mean, seriously, baseball players are the most annoying athletes of all time.  I don't even believe that they want to hear themselves yap that much, let alone anyone watching the game.  "Hey, whattya say now kid?  Here we go now kid, lets go one-five hum it in there now!"  Half the words that come out of their mouths can not be found in a Webster's.  The chatter would be kind of funny if it only happened occasionally, but it's just downright dreadful to listen to for nine full innings.  But I guess I can't blame them too much.  Whenever I have to cover it I find myself looking for other sources of entertainment too, because the game itself is just plain boring.

Football - I know you all thought I'd leave football out, because it's mine and everybody else's favorite sport. But there is one thing that happens in just about every football game that may piss me off more than anything else I've mentioned so far.  There is nothing I hate more than watching guys put four fingers in the air when the horn sounds to end the third quarter.  What does it even mean?  Are you reminding yourself, your teammates and everyone at the game that the fourth quarter is starting?  I'm pretty sure the blaring horn and the giant, lit up scoreboard took care of that for ya.  Or is that you're way of saying, "OK, the fourth quarter is about to start.  Time to start playing for real now."  If that's the case then it's probably time to stop playing for you and your team.  If you're just deciding to play now, there's a good chance you're already getting your teeth kicked in.  It's such a cliche at this point that I don't even think the guys doing it could answer me if I asked them why they're doing it.

There are still so many sports that I haven't gotten to, but I don't have the time to sit here and dedicate a paragraph to every one of them.  So let me throw a few others at you in a few words:  Basketball - Arguing every single call.  This is more of a guy thing to do.  Every male basketball player gets fouled every single time he shoots and never commits a foul on defense.  Or at least that's what he believes.  Golf - Pretty much all of the etiquette that goes with the game.  God forbid anyone be breathing while a golfer is in his/her backswing, the entire round would probably have to start over.  And last, but certainly not least, Soccer - It only takes one word to tell you what bothers me about soccer:  Everything.

And because ESPN and everyone else has begun the Cam Newton stat tracker, I'm going to start one of my own, but I'm only keeping one statistic:  0-2.

"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation.  Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are."  -John Wooden

-Brusk Dollas