Put Your Fours Up

I've been putting thoughts together on this post for a while and I'm excited to finally get to it.  Tonight will be another list of sport pet peeves, but with a slightly different approach.  I'm going to point out the most annoying, ridiculous things that you will see every time you watch a certain sport.  Because of my occupation I see every sport you can possibly imagine and have developed a list of things I can't stand to see, but can't avoid.  I have just one thing left to say before I dive right into it:  Why does Eli Manning have the most gigantic chinstrap in the history of football?

Softball - Whenever I cover a high school softball game and a girl gets on base, the catcher fakes a throw down to the base after every single pitch.  Every single one.  Every high school catcher does it and it's pretty much hilarious.  The best part is that she never actually throws it.  The whole purpose is to keep the baserunner honest, but she might as well be the girl who cried wolf.  Not only do you not ever actually throw it, but we all know your arm isn't strong enough to throw anyone out anyway.  Just save yourself and the rest of us who are watching the time and agony and throw the ball back to the pitcher already.

Tennis - This one is aimed more at professional tennis than anything else.  If I see one more tennis player win a tournament and sprawl on the ground like he just got hit by a sniper on the rooftop, I'm going to...well...OK, lets be realistic, I'm probably not gonna do anything because I know I'm going to see it the next time I watch a professional tennis final.  It's especially ridiculous when the best players in the world are doing it.  There are only three guys that ever win tournaments anyway and they've all won multiple majors.  Ever heard the phrase "act like you've been there before?"  That's even more appropriate when you have, in fact, been there before.  At least come up with a new way to celebrate 'cause that's just old and lame.

Volleyball - This one really drives me nuts.  Why is it that after every single point, both teams huddle up and have a pow wow in the middle of the court?  What could you possibly be saying?  In a given, best of five match there are probably 150 points scored, sometimes more, and you're telling me that you need to converse after every one of them?  And don't even get me started on the team that actually scored the point.  It's the same damn celebration every time.  Everyone on the team yells "Ayyyyyyyyyy!" and throws their arms in the air, even if the other team simply served the ball out of bounds.  And for the team that lost the point?  Lets just say volleyball players have to be the most supportive teammates ever.  I've never seen anyone yell at a teammate for missing an easy shot, only words of encouragement and a pat on the butt.  And it's the same whether we're talking about guys or girls.

Baseball - Does anyone ever shut up?  I mean, seriously, baseball players are the most annoying athletes of all time.  I don't even believe that they want to hear themselves yap that much, let alone anyone watching the game.  "Hey, whattya say now kid?  Here we go now kid, lets go one-five hum it in there now!"  Half the words that come out of their mouths can not be found in a Webster's.  The chatter would be kind of funny if it only happened occasionally, but it's just downright dreadful to listen to for nine full innings.  But I guess I can't blame them too much.  Whenever I have to cover it I find myself looking for other sources of entertainment too, because the game itself is just plain boring.

Football - I know you all thought I'd leave football out, because it's mine and everybody else's favorite sport. But there is one thing that happens in just about every football game that may piss me off more than anything else I've mentioned so far.  There is nothing I hate more than watching guys put four fingers in the air when the horn sounds to end the third quarter.  What does it even mean?  Are you reminding yourself, your teammates and everyone at the game that the fourth quarter is starting?  I'm pretty sure the blaring horn and the giant, lit up scoreboard took care of that for ya.  Or is that you're way of saying, "OK, the fourth quarter is about to start.  Time to start playing for real now."  If that's the case then it's probably time to stop playing for you and your team.  If you're just deciding to play now, there's a good chance you're already getting your teeth kicked in.  It's such a cliche at this point that I don't even think the guys doing it could answer me if I asked them why they're doing it.

There are still so many sports that I haven't gotten to, but I don't have the time to sit here and dedicate a paragraph to every one of them.  So let me throw a few others at you in a few words:  Basketball - Arguing every single call.  This is more of a guy thing to do.  Every male basketball player gets fouled every single time he shoots and never commits a foul on defense.  Or at least that's what he believes.  Golf - Pretty much all of the etiquette that goes with the game.  God forbid anyone be breathing while a golfer is in his/her backswing, the entire round would probably have to start over.  And last, but certainly not least, Soccer - It only takes one word to tell you what bothers me about soccer:  Everything.

And because ESPN and everyone else has begun the Cam Newton stat tracker, I'm going to start one of my own, but I'm only keeping one statistic:  0-2.

"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation.  Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are."  -John Wooden

-Brusk Dollas

Are You Kidding Me?

I’m back! After a strenuous month in the world of college athletics (my employer) I have found some time to vent about what is going on in our world of entertainment. I recently had an evening of relaxation on the couch and I took notice to what was being featured during prime time hours on our beloved television. It’s almost laughable what we believe to be good entertainment in the 21^st century. Today’s post will not be long, but I will list the top 5 “are you kidding me?” television shows featured on television these days. I hope you enjoy this list of jenkum (google "jenkum" if you don't know what it is) that we call "reality tv."

5.       Sweet Home Alabama

This show is a spin off of every Bachelor, Bachelorette or Flavor of Love gimmick type show that wants you believe you can find true, everlasting love picking from a batch of fifteen fame-driven idiots. But that is not why this show is on this list. This show is on this list because of one person. The person I'm referring to revealed himself as an NFL/Sugar Bowl Punter as a participant on this show which is a complete fraud. This guy was a teammate of myself and Brusk Dollas at a much less fashionable university than the one he claims. I’m not hating on him for working toward his dream to be famous, I'm just disappointed that he has betrayed the brotherhood. We here at Roast Beef Tech had the time of our lives on Spring Break with this very same character and for three years he was a dear friend. I don’t hate this person and if I saw him today everything would be cool, but he would hear my displeasure in him turning his back on the people who took him in with open arms.

4.       Jersey Shore

If you think this is a good show and that the cast members represent true talent, please feel free to take an icepick and jam it directly into your retina. This show was created to display the ridiculousness that goes on at the Jersey Shore with the people that reside there. Naturally, people would say I'm hating because they are making so much money. Money has nothing to do with my opinion. Snooki is paid to be a drunken, vulgar idiot whose idea of funny is burping, farting and talking about poop. This "talent" will leave her unemployed and broke when MTV decides to pull the plug on this freak show. Ronnie and Sammi's relationship is every roid monkey’s relationship in a college setting. Give a meathead alcohol and mix in a girlfriend who has no clue about reality and you have their relationship. These Neanderthals don’t even realize Guido/Guidett is a derogatory word for a sad, pathetic excuse for a male or female of Italian decent. I could go on with my disgust for this show but I won’t. Apparently MTV knows more than I do about entertaining the masses.

3.       Bad Girls Club

If you have never seen this show I am happy for you. If you think Snooki is ridiculous you should see the banshees they have on this show. The concept of the show is to cast a group of girls who claim they "keep it real.” These ladies are set up in a mansion, given an endless supply of alcohol and are sent to all the local night clubs. The kicker is they are encouraged to act like psychos. I watched this show for fifteen minutes and saw a girl jumping up and down on a civilian’s car with her dress coming down to about her belly button, screaming at the girl whose boyfriend turned her down. These classy ladies keep it real at all times and routinely clean toilet bowls with each other’s toothbrushes in retaliation to being spit on. Definitely sounds like the kind of lady I want to take home to meet the parents. What’s funny to me is they claim to "keep it real" but their lifestyle is the furthest thing from reality. You know what’s real? Taking care of your child, which most of these young ladies have. That’s real. This show is a treat for sure.

2.       Basketball Wives

This show has everyone fooled because, well, none of these grown women are actually married. It's a show that was created and produced by Shawnee O’Neal (Shaq’s ex-wife), and it has completely disrespected any real woman. These ladies take pride in how insane they can possibly be while in some of the most sophisticated places. I’ve seen wine glasses tossed across restaurants and hair pulling fights at black tie events. If there is one thing these ladies have mastered, it's simply not knowing how to behave in public. All these ladies have been impregnated by an NBA superstar and wonder why they are currently divorced or single. The reason is right there on the television screen for the whole world to see. One individual on this show gets special mention: Tami Roman, ex-wife of Kenny Anderson. Tami is the definition of a hoodrat. Tami is all the way live or what the young folk would describe as “Turn’t Up.” I don't know what to say about her other than she will hurt you and I don’t mean with words. Tami is not a little girl and I would put my cash on her against most men. In other words, “this fat bitch gets physical.” (Mike Epps)

1.       Sixteen and Pregnant/ Teen Mom

Now this is what bothers me about the society that we live in. People get offended about Tom Brady telling the Patriot fan base to start drinking early and get lubed up for a 4:15 p.m. kickoff, but we promote teen pregnancy. We find entertainment in watching teenagers who made terrible decisions and anoint them as celebrities. Instead of treating them like people who have to take care of their obligations, we put them in tabloids and show our youth, "here’s a way to make a buck and become a celebrity." I’ve seen Halloween costumes of one of the pregnant characters in the show. We can’t be serious.

Special Celebrity Mention: Curtis Leskanic, former relief pitcher for the Boston Red Sox and current scout for the Boston Red Sox was found doing his best impression of Carlos Dunlap. Leskanic was arrested after being found asleep at the wheel of his car with a blood alcohol content of .35. A blood alcohol level that high puts most people in the hospital and is more than four times the legal limit. But that's not even the bad part. Not only was he passed out at the wheel, completely hammered beyond belief, but when the police got to his car they noticed his son was in the backseat. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

Stay Thirsty My Friend!

               

-Jae Pierce

I Ain't Afraid to Hate

Ahh, what a day.  In case you don't know, I'm a huge Miami Dolphins fan.  If everyone had to pick one team in all of sports to cheer for, mine would be the Dolphins.  I've been a fan since 'Nam, mostly because someone in my family had a 'Fins Starter jacket and Dan Marino was my idol, so I've followed them for as long as I can remember.  So when I found out they were playing the Patriots in the Monday Night Football opener, I was ecstatic.  But at the end of last week I learned that I had been assigned to cover a high school soccer game starting at 6:30 p.m. tonight and my mood quickly changed.  Obviously I was not happy, but I'm broke and need every hour I can get so I didn't complain.  I arrived at the field around 6:20 tonight (I don't need much prep time) to find the two JV teams taking the field for the start of the second half of their game.  Turns out there was a short thunderstorm that I never saw that delayed the start of their game by about 45 minutes.  Perfect.  I had already accepted that I was going to miss the entire first half of the Dolphins game, but now it was looking like I might miss the entire thing.  I rushed home when the varsity game finally ended and made it in time to catch most of the fourth quarter.  Then, when I thought I had already suffered through the worst thing the night could possibly throw my way, I saw this:  Down by 14 with about six minutes to play and facing 4th and Goal from inside the one yard-line, the Dolphins throw a fade to Brian Hartline.  That would have been a terrible call if it were designed to go to Brandon Marshall, but Brian Hartline!?!?  There's simply no explanation for that.  Needless to say they failed to convert.  On the very next play, the Patriots decide to line up in shotgun with five wide receivers from inside their own one yard-line...Who the hell does that?  Well the pathetic thing is that it worked.  Tom Brady hit Wes Welker for a 99 yard touchdown and effectively drove the final nail into the Dolphins' coffin.  So what's the point of me telling you all this?  I'm pissed off and I'm about to hate on someone who you've probably heard nothing but praise about.

So Cameron "Scam" Newton made his NFL debut yesterday for the Carolina Panthers and I'll admit, he put together a pretty impressive stat line.  422 yards passing, 2 TD's and another on the ground...Not too shabby for a guy that everyone, including myself, expected would need some time to adapt to the big boy league.  But let me ask one question:  Did every single football fan and analyst forget why you play the game?  Get 'em, Herm:

Hello!?  Cam's Panthers lost to an Arizona Cardinals team that has yet to prove anything.  I heard Mike Wilbon, a man whose opinions I value less and less every day, literally say "I don't care that they didn't win the game."  Excuse me?  So all you're looking for in a quarterback is a guy who's going to fill up a stat sheet but crumble down the stretch when his team needs a game-tying score?  And he's not the only one.  All I heard all day is how great Cam Newton is and blah, blah, blah.  How bout a win?  Cam had his team deep in Cardinal territory late in the game and failed to connect on several passes that he should have made to tie the game.  The other thing I heard a thousand times today is just an awful joke that was as unfunny the last time as it was the first time I heard it:  "Now I know why he was worth so much money in college!!!"  HAHAHA that's hilarious.  Not.  That's a not joke (Borat voice).  I'm not saying he didn't make some good throws and I'm not saying that he's not going to be a good quarterback.  All I'm saying is that if I were a betting man, I would have taken the Cardinals yesterday and I would have won.  I'm not jumping on any bandwagons until this kid shows me he can win at this level.  And did you see that picture at the start of this post?  Cam Newton is the Wayne Brady of the NFL.  Corny.  Shit, I might even still take Donovan McNabb and his 39 yards passing over Scameron.  Siiiiiiiiiiiiiike, McNabb is trash and always has been.  What is this Pop Warner?

For anyone that read my last post, I'm still putting some thoughts together for the topic that I'm excited about so stay tuned.  I'm saving that one for a day that I have some more time to dedicate to writing.  It's a timeless post so it can wait.  Oh, one more thing:  Kyle Orton stinks.  I'm writing this as the Broncos game goes to halftime and I'm confident saying that Tim Tebow should be starting.  I mean, he was good enough to beat out Cam at Florida, why isn't he good enough to at least get a chance in a league that everybody thinks Newton is going to dominate?  Don't say I didn't warn you that I was in a hatin' kind of mood.

"It's funny when people discuss love marriage vs. arranged.  It's like asking someone if suicide is better or being murdered."  -Unknown...I'm not even married and that's funny.

-Brusk Dollas

The Real T Plush

I have a great blog topic that I'm really excited to write about, but that will have to wait for another day.  I'm on a very strict schedule today as I have under two hours to complete this post and the aforementioned topic is too good to rush.  So let me throw a couple of quick thoughts at you about some events that took place yesterday and call it a day.  Absolutely first and foremost, I have to acknowledge the tragic plane crash that occurred yesterday in Russia.  If you haven't heard about it, a jet carrying a Russian hockey team crashed into a river bank immediately after leaving the airport, killing 43 of the 45 passengers.  The two that survived are in critical condition.  The team included eight former NHL players, some of whom were All-Stars.  I've written columns in the past about how fans look at professional athletes and see them as almost super-human, invincible beings.  We put them on a pedestal and forget that they're human just like the rest of us.  They face the same personal issues we do and this is just a harsh realization that they're as vulnerable to tragedies as the rest of us.  So my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone involved in the crash, especially the two survivors and the families of the fallen athletes.

Switching gears but staying right along with the vulnerability theme, what in the world is going on with Sidney Crosby?  Sid the Kid suffered a concussion back in January and said yesterday that he still hasn't fully recovered.  Dude, that was nine months ago...Something doesn't add up.  Either Crosby is the softest individual ever to call himself an athlete or that wasn't your average, run-of-the-mill concussion.  I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say the latter is probably true considering, I'm assuming, that wasn't the first time in his hockey career he's ever been hit.  But a normal concussion usually results in about one week of recovery time.  I mean, Austin Collie went into a state of instantaneous rigor mortis last year and I'm pretty sure he played the following Sunday.  He definitely didn't miss more than one game.  There are reports that Crosby could miss the Penguins' season opener on October 6th.  I don't know who you've been listening to Sid, but it might be time to consider a change in physician.  I'm not exactly a die-hard hockey fan, but I do know one thing:  If that sport wants to gain popularity, Crosby needs to be playing.  Alexander Ovechkin can't carry the entire league by himself, so as long as Crosby isn't on the ice, hockey will continue to be in the same category as soccer in this country.

Now to something a little more fun.  Nyjer Morgan is the man.  He has officially vaulted himself into my second favorite baseball player on Earth behind Brian Wilson (who will never be surpassed).  Morgan is just a little dude that runs wild on the field and plays the game in unorthodox fashion.  He makes some incredibly difficult plays in center field, misses some incredibly routine ones and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks.  His twitter name is TheRealTPlush named after his alter ego, Tony Plush, he wears pants that look like they were made for his teammate Prince Fielder (Fielder is nearly twice the size of Morgan) and rivals Lenny Dykstra for the title of "Man Who Chews the Most Tobacco While Playing."  His most recent antics took place last night in a game against the St. Louis Cardinals when he struck out in the ninth inning.  Morgan proceeded to scream expletives at Cardinals' pitcher Chris Carpenter, then take his chew out of his mouth and throw it at Carpenter apparently just because he was pissed that he struck out.  That's awesome.  When Albert Pujols came to the back of his pitcher, Morgan didn't run away, but rather stayed and jawed at Pujols as well.  Essentially the 5'11, 175 pound Morgan was prepared to fight the entire Cardinals' organization.  He later tweeted about Pujols:  "Alberta couldn't see Plush if she had her gloves on!!! Wat was she thinking running afta Plush!!! She never been n tha ring!!!"  Chances are, Pujols would've worked Morgan like a stripper the day before rent is due, but my man didn't back down and I love it.

Special thanks to my dude Andrew Haberern for the conversation that inspired several of my comments about Nyjer Morgan.

"I occasionally get birthday cards from fans.  But it's often the same message:  They hope it's my last."
-Former MLB Umpire, Al Forman

-Brusk Dollas

Par For the Course

Allow me to begin tonight's post by offering my sincerest apologies for only fulfilling one of my two weekly commitments to you, the readers, last week.  It was a crazy couple of days recovering from Irene and preparing for the start of football season so I was even busier than usual.  But it's time to get back on track on this Monday night as I'd also like to wish everyone a happy Labor Day.  I hope you all enjoyed your day off and celebrated your economic and social contributions to society.  As I mentioned, most high school and college football teams kicked off their seasons this weekend and what a weekend it was.  But, because football season is so young and I foresee plenty of posts dedicated to the sport in the near future, I'm going to hold off on any gridiron discussions for now.  Oh, one more thing before I get into the real focus of the post:  I may have written my tennis/Nike post a day or two premature.  If you've been watching the US Open at all, you've probably seen a young American named Donald Young (pictured above) making a run through the bracket.  The 22 year-old Chicago native is one of just four unseeded, male competitors to advance to the round of 16 where he'll take on fourth-seeded Andy Murray on Tuesday.  The kid is downright filthy.  He's a charismatic southpaw that wears his emotions on his sleeve, a sleeve that displays the Nike swoosh.  Obviously he would have been eliminated in the first round if he had been sporting Fila gear.  Anyway, the dude is a beast, I'm on the bandwagon and there's plenty of room.  Get on board.

Most of you know by now that I'm a sports reporter for the local cable company in my area.  We specialize in high school sports and we don't discriminate which means I get some rather unenviable assignments at times.  So last week I got sent to a high school golf match between two local teams that were in first and second place respectively in their conference.  Not the best thing I've ever done, but certainly better than having to watch two small school girls' soccer teams play all of regulation and two overtimes to a scoreless tie.  I've done that and I'd rather get punched in the throat by Mike Tyson while simultaneously being lit on fire than have to do that again.  No disrespect to soccer players, your game is just really, really boring.  Anyway, let me explain how my job works so you understand the situation.  As of right now, I don't do any live broadcasts.  I just put together a package of highlights of the events I cover, very similar to what you'd see on Sportscenter.  So when it comes to covering golf, we don't follow them for the entire 18 holes because that'd just be ridiculous.  We try to get there for the last 6 or 7 holes which still gives us more than enough footage to find a couple of highlights.  

That being said, on this particular day the golfers teed off at 2:45 so my cameraman and I arrived just before 5 o' clock.  We were actually a little later than we had hoped, but I wish we had been much, much later.  When we got out onto the course, we found that the first group was just finishing up their front nine.  As we followed them to the tenth tee, there was a group of four men hitting their tee shots which means the high schoolers were forced to wait.  As we sat there, I struck up conversation with the kids, asking them if they had been playing behind these guys all day.  They told me that the men were on the first tee when they got there and they'd been forced to wait at every subsequent tee since.  It turns out the golf course scheduled another tournament that day that ran all the way up until the beginning of the high school match.  Long story short, the kids played until it was pitch black.  They played so late that the last group wasn't even able to finish, they just took pars for the 18th hole because it was impossible to see anything when they got there.  The craziest part is that it was a close match.  The way high school golf works is this:  Each team has 10 golfers that play the full round.  When the round is over, they take their best 5 scores and add them up.  But the scores aren't tallied until everyone has finished.  So everyone knew it was a close match, yet they had no other choice than to give the final two players on each team a par for the last hole.  The winning team ended up with a six-stroke victory which would have been impossible to make up on one hole, but they didn't know that at the time.

Now do me a favor:  Take a moment to think about that..............Does anyone find that as absurd as I do?  This is an official varsity contest people.  That's like two high school basketball teams showing up for their game and having to wait for a bunch of old men wearing head bands to finish their pick-up game.  Then they'd start the real game, but they'd only be allowed to play for a few minutes before having to let the old men throw up some more air balls.  There would be no scoreboard, just someone keeping track of each team's total, but not telling the players the score.  And that process would continue over and over until the kids had almost played the entire game.  But instead of finishing, each team would just add ten points to their total and hope they had done enough up until that point to win the game.  It's completely bogus.  It reminds me of high  school and even some college tennis where the players make their own calls and keep their own score.  I mean I covered a state playoff tennis match and they didn't even have umpires, just some official that basically served as a mediator if there was a disagreement.  I actually feel bad for those golfers because their sport gets no love.  But, then again, we are talking about golf, the thing that most people do on their day off.  Now let me get back to watching Roger Federer absolutely tool on this no-name cat, Juan Monaco in a match that didn't start until almost midnight.

*Russell Wilson for Heisman*

"I think there's--he's the main guy and then there's probably four or five of us that are--I don't know.  Maybe we need to do just a tag team effort or something, join forces, you know, like Power Rangers or something."  -Andy Roddick, after losing to Roger Federer in 2005...I still love Roddick even though he rocks Lacoste on the court

-Brusk Dollas

Look Good, Feel Good; Feel Good, Play Good

As a result of that biotch named Irene, my home was without electricity from late Saturday night until this morning.  For that reason, I was unable to fulfill my commitment to posting every Monday and Thursday night, but we're officially back in business.  Kinda makes me wonder what bloggers did back in the old days when there was no such thing as electricity.  Anyway, I like sports.  I've played just about every sport there is and I'll watch almost anything that ESPN is willing to broadcast.  From poker to bowling to real sports like basketball and football, I've played it and I've watched it.  I'll even go so far as to watch the most unwatchable sport of them all, soccer, assuming there are no "King of Queens" re-runs airing simultaneously (but only because I'm a student of my craft of sports reporting).  That being said, the motivation for tonight's post came to me as I watched the US Open of tennis today.

Look good, feel good; feel good, play good:  A phrase that many athletes, myself included, live by.  I have no problem admitting that I did/wore things during my athletic career for no other reason than to look like an absolute beast.  Most notably, in my days as a college football player, I wore a visor (eye shield), taped my wrists, spatted my ankles (full ankle tape over the shoes), and cut one of the sleeves off my Under Armour so that I had a single, long sleeve with the other arm bare.  Some people probably looked at me and thought I was an idiot, but I felt like a baller and it legitimately gave me more confidence as a player.  And it's not just accessories that some people focus on, but the brand names on the equipment as well.  I played with guys that believed we would be a better team when we switched from Russell jerseys to Nike ones.  So what does all this have to do with the US Open?  The answer is simple:  There may not be a single sport that represents more brands than tennis.  

I watched James Blake beat some random dude named Jesse Huta Galung earlier today and wanted so badly to be a fan of Blake's.  He's an American from New York, the state in which the US Open is being played, and I like his demeanor on the court (you'll never hear me use the word "swag" again, by the way).  But just when I thought I had found a new tennis player to root for, I noticed that the man was wearing Fila.  Fila!?!?  Noooooooooo James.  The only good thing about Fila is that Lil' Scrappy has a hype song with that title, but in the song "F.I.L.A." stands for "Forever I Love Atlanta."  Oh, and the song isn't even that good.  Other than that, I didn't know Fila even existed anymore, and I would have preferred that it stay that way.  And the list doesn't end there.  There are only a hand-full of tennis players that rock Nike gear (Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer), but naturally they're some of the world's best players.  Not even the best American player for the last decade, Andy Roddick, is decked out in Nike equipment.  He's sponsored by Lacoste.  I love Roddick, but Lacoste is a good sponsor for a debate team, not an elite athlete.  And now you know why he's never been able to consistently compete with the world's best.

Don't believe me?  Think about the most recognizable athletes on the planet, past or present...OK, who comes to mind?  I'm guessing Michael Jordan, Lebron James, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady, Alexander Ovechkin, Derek Jeter, Roger Federer and maybe a few others.  I'm certain that the NFL is sponsored by Reebok and I'm pretty sure the NHL is as well, so take Brady and Ovechkin out of the equation.  But in the other sports (NBA, MLB, professional tennis and professional golf), players have the option of wearing whatever brand of equipment they want.  So what do MJ, Lebron, Tiger, Jeter and Federer all have in common?  They all wear Nike.  Look, I'm not stupid.  I realize that money plays a huge factor in all of this.  Nike is the biggest athletic corporation on the planet, therefore they have the most money to pay high profile athletes to wear their equipment.  But here's another justification.  The last ten NCAA Football Division 1 FBS National Champions have been:  Auburn, Alabama, Florida, LSU, Florida again, Texas, USC, USC again, Ohio State and Miami.  I don't need to tell you who sponsors all eight of these programs.  Lastly, in my five years in college, my football team had three different sponsors:  Russell, Nike and Adidas.  We made the national playoffs just one time in those five years and I bet you can guess who our sponsor was that year...Coincidence?  I think not.  I'm not going to say it's impossible to win if you don't wear Nike, but it's pretty clear that your chances increase exponentially if you do.  I'd love to hear your opinions on the subject, so please leave comments on this site or my Facebook page.  Thank you all.

"We can't win at home and we can't win on the road.  My problem as general manager is I can't think of another place to play."  -Pat Williams

-Brusk Dollhairs

Somebody Pay That Man

College athletes receiving illegal benefits.  Can anyone think of a single topic that has ever received more attention in the wide world of sports?  I certainly can't.  And, while I wrote a post about the topic a few months back, there are new developments popping up daily.  New schools, new violations, new, loser boosters that illegally give their money to athletes.  And the best part about those assholes is that many of them made their money illegally.  Laws are just being disregarded left and right.  The NCAA has now focused the majority of its attention on the University of Miami and the allegations surrounding current prison inmate Nevin Shapiro.  While that may be the flavor of the week, Terrelle Pryor continues to garner attention after being selected by the Oakland Raiders in this week's NFL Supplemental Draft, and he's the individual I'd like to focus on tonight.

I didn't go back and read my last post on this topic so forgive me if I'm a little redundant.  But I'm completely sick of hearing people call Pryor "the man who ruined Ohio State."  That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.  Pryor made some bad decisions, yes.  But he didn't do anything that every struggling, 19 year-old college student wouldn't have done.  If I told you that you could have a brand new sports car for free when you were 19 years old, you'd ask me where to sign.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  The people to blame in these situations are the compliance officers, the coaching staff and, most importantly, the scumbag boosters.  At this point we're just waiting to hear who the next school, player or coach is that will be under investigation.  Trust me, everyone is guilty.  Every single Division 1 athletic program in the country is doing something they're not supposed to.  The Pryor case is definitely an extreme, but it's not a matter of who's violating NCAA rules, but rather a matter of who's going to get caught.  Not all violations are as serious as the ones at Ohio State, USC, Miami and many other big name universities, but plenty of smaller schools could face heat too.  There are countless schools committing what the NCAA would consider to be petty violations such as going over the allotted practice hours in a week, supplying academic "assistance" that would be frowned upon, or covering up misdemeanor offenses.  In those instances, it would be mostly the coaching staff and compliance officers that would be punished, but guilty is guilty.

Now I've heard several suggestions of ways to fix the problem of athletes receiving illegal benefits.  Most notably, make it a felony for any booster to supply illegal benefits or don't allow any athlete to play professionally if he/she was proven to have taken illegal benefits while in college.  As far as the first recommendation goes, I'm not necessarily opposed to it.  However I think that's a little optimistic.  I'd be a supporter of imprisoning every sleazeball that puts a naive college athlete in a position to ruin their career, but it's just not realistic.  Misdemeanor?  Sure.  But a felony?  Like, the same level of criminal offense as armed robbery, homicide, rape, and other heinous crimes?  I don't think so.  As for suggestion number two, that just simply wouldn't solve the problem.  Yes, it would deter athletes at the highest level from taking gifts from boosters, but it doesn't account for the athletes that either know they're not good enough to play professionally or don't want to play professionally.  Those particular athletes would have no problem pocketing some extra cash.

So after thinking long and hard *pause* about it, after analyzing all aspects of the issue, I've finally come up with a solution:  Pay college athletes.  OK, maybe I wasn't the first person to submit the idea, but I'm now a supporter of it.  I had never really decided on which side of the fence I fell when it came to the idea of paying college athletes, but now it's become clear.  It's simply the only way and the best way to assure that they won't be tempted to accept bribes from outsiders.  It would also level the playing field when it comes to recruiting.  Programs and coaches would actually have to sell their universities (figuratively, not literally) to recruits based on the school itself, the football tradition and academics instead of showing them the private yachts and strip clubs they'll get to attend if they play well.  What a concept.  Oh, by the way, Terrelle Pryor will be a good NFL player.  Better than Cam Newton.  You heard it here first.

Instead of a quote to end this post, I'm going to give you all a very special treat.  The following is the video that myself and a few friends made in our 11th grade spanish class.  And after you watch it I don't think you'll have a hard time figuring out why we aced it.  Too easy.  Enjoy.

-Brusk Dollas